Install this theme
stacksbreadup:

This deadass the funniest tweet ever.

stacksbreadup:

This deadass the funniest tweet ever.

so-personal:

everything personal♡

so-personal:

everything personal♡

1. Your skin may never be perfect, and that’s okay.

2. Life is too short not to have the underwear, the coffee, and the haircut you want.

3. Everyone (including your family, your coworkers, and your best friend) will talk about you behind your back, and you’ll talk about them too. It doesn’t mean you don’t love each other.

4. It’s okay to spend money on things that make you happy.

5. Sometimes without fault or reason, relationships deteriorate. It will happen when you’re six, it will happen when you’re sixty. That’s life.

Five things I am trying very hard to accept (via aumoe)

Love this

(via t-ruthful)

i-ran-over-oprah:

my kind of glory hole

In an effort to get people to look
into each other’s eyes more,
and also to appease the mutes,
the government has decided
to allot each person exactly one hundred
and sixty-seven words, per day.

When the phone rings, I put it to my ear
without saying hello. In the restaurant
I point at chicken noodle soup.
I am adjusting well to the new way.

Late at night, I call my long distance lover,
proudly say I only used fifty-nine today.
I saved the rest for you.

When she doesn’t respond,
I know she’s used up all her words,
so I slowly whisper I love you
thirty-two and a third times.
After that, we just sit on the line
and listen to each other breathe.

Jeffrey McDaniel, “The Quiet World”  (via yourbittenkitten)
In Roman community baths, it was customary for men to stand and applaud when a well-endowed peer entered the water.

why are men so weird everywhere always (x)

i just imagined this and cannot stop laughing

(via retconcorps)

i’ll get my shit together tomorrow
me everyday (via zackisontumblr)
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
Oscar Wilde (via kushandwizdom)

dajo42:

one time in an english class we were making notes about shakespeare’s life and the teacher was like “his father was a glove maker” and the guy next to me started laughing really hard so i looked over at him

his pen had stopped working before he could write “maker” so it just said “shakespeare’s father was a glove” and that was the funniest thing in the world to this guy for some reason

egberts:

driving is so dangerous ur literally controlling a giant metal contraption with a circle and some foot buttons

wealwaysbreathe:

sexrumors:

trying to bang with ur boo while ur parent in the other room

image

OH MY FUCKINg GOD

urbancatfitters:

i wonder how people describe me when they’re talking about me to someone who’s never met me